Alcibiades took the vacant place between Agathon and Socrates, and in
taking the place he embraced Agathon and crowned him.  Take off his
sandals, said Agathon, and let him make a third on the same couch.

By all means; but who makes the third partner in our revels? said
Alcibiades, turning round and starting up as he caught sight of Socrates. 
By Heracles, he said, what is this? here is Socrates always lying in wait
for me, and always, as his way is, coming out at all sorts of unsuspected
places:  and now, what have you to say for yourself, and why are you lying
here, where I perceive that you have contrived to find a place, not by a
joker or lover of jokes, like Aristophanes, but by the fairest of the
company?

Socrates turned to Agathon and said:  I must ask you to protect me,
Agathon; for the passion of this man has grown quite a serious matter to
me.  Since I became his admirer I have never been allowed to speak to any
other fair one, or so much as to look at them.  If I do, he goes wild with
envy and jealousy, and not only abuses me but can hardly keep his hands off
me, and at this moment he may do me some harm.  Please to see to this, and
either reconcile me to him, or, if he attempts violence, protect me, as I
am in bodily fear of his mad and passionate attempts.

There can never be reconciliation between you and me, said Alcibiades; but
for the present I will defer your chastisement.  And I must beg you,
Agathon, to give me back some of the ribands that I may crown the
marvellous head of this universal despot--I would not have him complain of
me for crowning you, and neglecting him, who in conversation is the
conqueror of all mankind; and this not only once, as you were the day
before yesterday, but always.  Whereupon, taking some of the ribands, he
crowned Socrates, and again reclined.

Then he said:  You seem, my friends, to be sober, which is a thing not to
be endured; you must drink--for that was the agreement under which I was
admitted--and I elect myself master of the feast until you are well drunk. 
Let us have a large goblet, Agathon, or rather, he said, addressing the
attendant, bring me that wine-cooler.  The wine-cooler which had caught his
eye was a vessel holding more than two quarts--this he filled and emptied,
and bade the attendant fill it again for Socrates.  Observe, my friends,
said Alcibiades, that this ingenious trick of mine will have no effect on
Socrates, for he can drink any quantity of wine and not be at all nearer
being drunk.  Socrates drank the cup which the attendant filled for him.

Eryximachus said:  What is this, Alcibiades?  Are we to have neither
conversation nor singing over our cups; but simply to drink as if we were
thirsty?

Alcibiades replied:  Hail, worthy son of a most wise and worthy sire!

The same to you, said Eryximachus; but what shall we do?

That I leave to you, said Alcibiades.

'The wise physician skilled our wounds to heal (from Pope's Homer, Il.)'

shall prescribe and we will obey.  What do you want?

Well, said Eryximachus, before you appeared we had passed a resolution that
each one of us in turn should make a speech in praise of love, and as good
a one as he could:  the turn was passed round from left to right; and as
all of us have spoken, and you have not spoken but have well drunken, you
ought to speak, and then impose upon Socrates any task which you please,
and he on his right hand neighbour, and so on.

That is good, Eryximachus, said Alcibiades; and yet the comparison of a
drunken man's speech with those of sober men is hardly fair; and I should
like to know, sweet friend, whether you really believe what Socrates was
just now saying; for I can assure you that the very reverse is the fact,
and that if I praise any one but himself in his presence, whether God or
man, he will hardly keep his hands off me.

For shame, said Socrates.

Hold your tongue, said Alcibiades, for by Poseidon, there is no one else
whom I will praise when you are of the company.

Well then, said Eryximachus, if you like praise Socrates.

What do you think, Eryximachus? said Alcibiades:  shall I attack him and
inflict the punishment before you all?

What are you about? said Socrates; are you going to raise a laugh at my
expense?  Is that the meaning of your praise?

I am going to speak the truth, if you will permit me.

I not only permit, but exhort you to speak the truth.

Then I will begin at once, said Alcibiades, and if I say anything which is
not true, you may interrupt me if you will, and say 'that is a lie,' though
my intention is to speak the truth.  But you must not wonder if I speak any
how as things come into my mind; for the fluent and orderly enumeration of
all your singularities is not a task which is easy to a man in my
condition.

And now, my boys, I shall praise Socrates in a figure which will appear to
him to be a caricature, and yet I speak, not to make fun of him, but only
for the truth's sake.  I say, that he is exactly like the busts of Silenus,
which are set up in the statuaries' shops, holding pipes and flutes in
their mouths; and they are made to open in the middle, and have images of
gods inside them.  I say also that he is like Marsyas the satyr.  You
yourself will not deny, Socrates, that your face is like that of a satyr. 
Aye, and there is a resemblance in other points too.  For example, you are
a bully, as I can prove by witnesses, if you will not confess.  And are you
not a flute-player?  That you are, and a performer far more wonderful than
Marsyas.  He indeed with instruments used to charm the souls of men by the
power of his breath, and the players of his music do so still:  for the
melodies of Olympus (compare Arist. Pol.) are derived from Marsyas who
taught them, and these, whether they are played by a great master or by a
miserable flute-girl, have a power which no others have; they alone possess
the soul and reveal the wants of those who have need of gods and mysteries,
because they are divine.  But you produce the same effect with your words
only, and do not require the flute:  that is the difference between you and
him.  When we hear any other speaker, even a very good one, he produces
absolutely no effect upon us, or not much, whereas the mere fragments of
you and your words, even at second-hand, and however imperfectly repeated,
amaze and possess the souls of every man, woman, and child who comes within
hearing of them.  And if I were not afraid that you would think me
hopelessly drunk, I would have sworn as well as spoken to the influence
which they have always had and still have over me.  For my heart leaps
within me more than that of any Corybantian reveller, and my eyes rain
tears when I hear them.  And I observe that many others are affected in the
same manner.  I have heard Pericles and other great orators, and I thought
that they spoke well, but I never had any similar feeling; my soul was not
stirred by them, nor was I angry at the thought of my own slavish state. 
But this Marsyas has often brought me to such a pass, that I have felt as
if I could hardly endure the life which I am leading (this, Socrates, you
will admit); and I am conscious that if I did not shut my ears against him,
and fly as from the voice of the siren, my fate would be like that of
others,--he would transfix me, and I should grow old sitting at his feet. 
For he makes me confess that I ought not to live as I do, neglecting the
wants of my own soul, and busying myself with the concerns of the
Athenians; therefore I hold my ears and tear myself away from him.  And he
is the only person who ever made me ashamed, which you might think not to
be in my nature, and there is no one else who does the same.  For I know
that I cannot answer him or say that I ought not to do as he bids, but when
I leave his presence the love of popularity gets the better of me.  And
therefore I run away and fly from him, and when I see him I am ashamed of
what I have confessed to him.  Many a time have I wished that he were dead,
and yet I know that I should be much more sorry than glad, if he were to
die:  so that I am at my wit's end.

And this is what I and many others have suffered from the flute-playing of
this satyr.  Yet hear me once more while I show you how exact the image is,
and how marvellous his power.  For let me tell you; none of you know him;
but I will reveal him to you; having begun, I must go on.  See you how fond
he is of the fair?  He is always with them and is always being smitten by
them, and then again he knows nothing and is ignorant of all things--such
is the appearance which he puts on.  Is he not like a Silenus in this?  To
be sure he is:  his outer mask is the carved head of the Silenus; but, O my
companions in drink, when he is opened, what temperance there is residing
within!  Know you that beauty and wealth and honour, at which the many
wonder, are of no account with him, and are utterly despised by him:  he
regards not at all the persons who are gifted with them; mankind are
nothing to him; all his life is spent in mocking and flouting at them.  But
when I opened him, and looked within at his serious purpose, I saw in him
divine and golden images of such fascinating beauty that I was ready to do
in a moment whatever Socrates commanded:  they may have escaped the
observation of others, but I saw them.  Now I fancied that he was seriously
enamoured of my beauty, and I thought that I should therefore have a grand
opportunity of hearing him tell what he knew, for I had a wonderful opinion
of the attractions of my youth.  In the prosecution of this design, when I
next went to him, I sent away the attendant who usually accompanied me (I
will confess the whole truth, and beg you to listen; and if I speak
falsely, do you, Socrates, expose the falsehood).  Well, he and I were
alone together, and I thought that when there was nobody with us, I should
hear him speak the language which lovers use to their loves when they are
by themselves, and I was delighted.  Nothing of the sort; he conversed as
usual, and spent the day with me and then went away.  Afterwards I
challenged him to the palaestra; and he wrestled and closed with me several
times when there was no one present; I fancied that I might succeed in this
manner.  Not a bit; I made no way with him.  Lastly, as I had failed
hitherto, I thought that I must take stronger measures and attack him
boldly, and, as I had begun, not give him up, but see how matters stood
between him and me.  So I invited him to sup with me, just as if he were a
fair youth, and I a designing lover.  He was not easily persuaded to come;
he did, however, after a while accept the invitation, and when he came the
first time, he wanted to go away at once as soon as supper was over, and I
had not the face to detain him.  The second time, still in pursuance of my
design, after we had supped, I went on conversing far into the night, and
when he wanted to go away, I pretended that the hour was late and that he
had much better remain.  So he lay down on the couch next to me, the same
on which he had supped, and there was no one but ourselves sleeping in the
apartment.  All this may be told without shame to any one.  But what
follows I could hardly tell you if I were sober.  Yet as the proverb says,
'In vino veritas,' whether with boys, or without them (In allusion to two
proverbs.); and therefore I must speak.  Nor, again, should I be justified
in concealing the lofty actions of Socrates when I come to praise him. 
Moreover I have felt the serpent's sting; and he who has suffered, as they
say, is willing to tell his fellow-sufferers only, as they alone will be
likely to understand him, and will not be extreme in judging of the sayings
or doings which have been wrung from his agony.  For I have been bitten by
a more than viper's tooth; I have known in my soul, or in my heart, or in
some other part, that worst of pangs, more violent in ingenuous youth than
any serpent's tooth, the pang of philosophy, which will make a man say or
do anything.  And you whom I see around me, Phaedrus and Agathon and
Eryximachus and Pausanias and Aristodemus and Aristophanes, all of you, and
I need not say Socrates himself, have had experience of the same madness
and passion in your longing after wisdom.  Therefore listen and excuse my
doings then and my sayings now.  But let the attendants and other profane
and unmannered persons close up the doors of their ears.

When the lamp was put out and the servants had gone away, I thought that I
must be plain with him and have no more ambiguity.  So I gave him a shake,
and I said:  'Socrates, are you asleep?'  'No,' he said.  'Do you know what
I am meditating?  'What are you meditating?' he said.  'I think,' I
replied, 'that of all the lovers whom I have ever had you are the only one
who is worthy of me, and you appear to be too modest to speak.  Now I feel
that I should be a fool to refuse you this or any other favour, and
therefore I come to lay at your feet all that I have and all that my
friends have, in the hope that you will assist me in the way of virtue,
which I desire above all things, and in which I believe that you can help
me better than any one else.  And I should certainly have more reason to be
ashamed of what wise men would say if I were to refuse a favour to such as
you, than of what the world, who are mostly fools, would say of me if I
granted it.'  To these words he replied in the ironical manner which is so
characteristic of him:--'Alcibiades, my friend, you have indeed an elevated
aim if what you say is true, and if there really is in me any power by
which you may become better; truly you must see in me some rare beauty of a
kind infinitely higher than any which I see in you.  And therefore, if you
mean to share with me and to exchange beauty for beauty, you will have
greatly the advantage of me; you will gain true beauty in return for
appearance--like Diomede, gold in exchange for brass.  But look again,
sweet friend, and see whether you are not deceived in me.  The mind begins
to grow critical when the bodily eye fails, and it will be a long time
before you get old.'  Hearing this, I said:  'I have told you my purpose,
which is quite serious, and do you consider what you think best for you and
me.'  'That is good,' he said; 'at some other time then we will consider
and act as seems best about this and about other matters.'  Whereupon, I
fancied that he was smitten, and that the words which I had uttered like
arrows had wounded him, and so without waiting to hear more I got up, and
throwing my coat about him crept under his threadbare cloak, as the time of
year was winter, and there I lay during the whole night having this
wonderful monster in my arms.  This again, Socrates, will not be denied by
you.  And yet, notwithstanding all, he was so superior to my solicitations,
so contemptuous and derisive and disdainful of my beauty--which really, as
I fancied, had some attractions--hear, O judges; for judges you shall be of
the haughty virtue of Socrates--nothing more happened, but in the morning
when I awoke (let all the gods and goddesses be my witnesses) I arose as
from the couch of a father or an elder brother.

What do you suppose must have been my feelings, after this rejection, at
the thought of my own dishonour?  And yet I could not help wondering at his
natural temperance and self-restraint and manliness.  I never imagined that
I could have met with a man such as he is in wisdom and endurance.  And
therefore I could not be angry with him or renounce his company, any more
than I could hope to win him.  For I well knew that if Ajax could not be
wounded by steel, much less he by money; and my only chance of captivating
him by my personal attractions had failed.  So I was at my wit's end; no
one was ever more hopelessly enslaved by another.  All this happened before
he and I went on the expedition to Potidaea; there we messed together, and
I had the opportunity of observing his extraordinary power of sustaining
fatigue.  His endurance was simply marvellous when, being cut off from our
supplies, we were compelled to go without food--on such occasions, which
often happen in time of war, he was superior not only to me but to
everybody; there was no one to be compared to him.  Yet at a festival he
was the only person who had any real powers of enjoyment; though not
willing to drink, he could if compelled beat us all at that,--wonderful to
relate! no human being had ever seen Socrates drunk; and his powers, if I
am not mistaken, will be tested before long.  His fortitude in enduring
cold was also surprising.  There was a severe frost, for the winter in that
region is really tremendous, and everybody else either remained indoors, or
if they went out had on an amazing quantity of clothes, and were well shod,
and had their feet swathed in felt and fleeces:  in the midst of this,
Socrates with his bare feet on the ice and in his ordinary dress marched
better than the other soldiers who had shoes, and they looked daggers at
him because he seemed to despise them.

I have told you one tale, and now I must tell you another, which is worth
hearing,

'Of the doings and sufferings of the enduring man'

while he was on the expedition.  One morning he was thinking about
something which he could not resolve; he would not give it up, but
continued thinking from early dawn until noon--there he stood fixed in
thought; and at noon attention was drawn to him, and the rumour ran through
the wondering crowd that Socrates had been standing and thinking about
something ever since the break of day.  At last, in the evening after
supper, some Ionians out of curiosity (I should explain that this was not
in winter but in summer), brought out their mats and slept in the open air
that they might watch him and see whether he would stand all night.  There
he stood until the following morning; and with the return of light he
offered up a prayer to the sun, and went his way (compare supra).  I will
also tell, if you please--and indeed I am bound to tell--of his courage in
battle; for who but he saved my life?  Now this was the engagement in which
I received the prize of valour:  for I was wounded and he would not leave
me, but he rescued me and my arms; and he ought to have received the prize
of valour which the generals wanted to confer on me partly on account of my
rank, and I told them so, (this, again, Socrates will not impeach or deny),
but he was more eager than the generals that I and not he should have the
prize.  There was another occasion on which his behaviour was very
remarkable--in the flight of the army after the battle of Delium, where he
served among the heavy-armed,--I had a better opportunity of seeing him
than at Potidaea, for I was myself on horseback, and therefore
comparatively out of danger.  He and Laches were retreating, for the troops
were in flight, and I met them and told them not to be discouraged, and
promised to remain with them; and there you might see him, Aristophanes, as
you describe (Aristoph. Clouds), just as he is in the streets of Athens,
stalking like a pelican, and rolling his eyes, calmly contemplating enemies
as well as friends, and making very intelligible to anybody, even from a
distance, that whoever attacked him would be likely to meet with a stout
resistance; and in this way he and his companion escaped--for this is the
sort of man who is never touched in war; those only are pursued who are
running away headlong.  I particularly observed how superior he was to
Laches in presence of mind.  Many are the marvels which I might narrate in
praise of Socrates; most of his ways might perhaps be paralleled in another
man, but his absolute unlikeness to any human being that is or ever has
been is perfectly astonishing.  You may imagine Brasidas and others to have
been like Achilles; or you may imagine Nestor and Antenor to have been like
Pericles; and the same may be said of other famous men, but of this strange
being you will never be able to find any likeness, however remote, either
among men who now are or who ever have been--other than that which I have
already suggested of Silenus and the satyrs; and they represent in a figure
not only himself, but his words.  For, although I forgot to mention this to
you before, his words are like the images of Silenus which open; they are
ridiculous when you first hear them; he clothes himself in language that is
like the skin of the wanton satyr--for his talk is of pack-asses and smiths
and cobblers and curriers, and he is always repeating the same things in
the same words (compare Gorg.), so that any ignorant or inexperienced
person might feel disposed to laugh at him; but he who opens the bust and
sees what is within will find that they are the only words which have a
meaning in them, and also the most divine, abounding in fair images of
virtue, and of the widest comprehension, or rather extending to the whole
duty of a good and honourable man.

This, friends, is my praise of Socrates.  I have added my blame of him for
his ill-treatment of me; and he has ill-treated not only me, but Charmides
the son of Glaucon, and Euthydemus the son of Diocles, and many others in
the same way--beginning as their lover he has ended by making them pay
their addresses to him.  Wherefore I say to you, Agathon, 'Be not deceived
by him; learn from me and take warning, and do not be a fool and learn by
experience, as the proverb says.'

When Alcibiades had finished, there was a laugh at his outspokenness; for
he seemed to be still in love with Socrates.  You are sober, Alcibiades,
said Socrates, or you would never have gone so far about to hide the
purpose of your satyr's praises, for all this long story is only an
ingenious circumlocution, of which the point comes in by the way at the
end; you want to get up a quarrel between me and Agathon, and your notion
is that I ought to love you and nobody else, and that you and you only
ought to love Agathon.  But the plot of this Satyric or Silenic drama has
been detected, and you must not allow him, Agathon, to set us at variance.

I believe you are right, said Agathon, and I am disposed to think that his
intention in placing himself between you and me was only to divide us; but
he shall gain nothing by that move; for I will go and lie on the couch next
to you.

Yes, yes, replied Socrates, by all means come here and lie on the couch
below me.

Alas, said Alcibiades, how I am fooled by this man; he is determined to get
the better of me at every turn.  I do beseech you, allow Agathon to lie
between us.

Certainly not, said Socrates, as you praised me, and I in turn ought to
praise my neighbour on the right, he will be out of order in praising me
again when he ought rather to be praised by me, and I must entreat you to
consent to this, and not be jealous, for I have a great desire to praise
the youth.

Hurrah! cried Agathon, I will rise instantly, that I may be praised by
Socrates.

The usual way, said Alcibiades; where Socrates is, no one else has any
chance with the fair; and now how readily has he invented a specious reason
for attracting Agathon to himself.

Agathon arose in order that he might take his place on the couch by
Socrates, when suddenly a band of revellers entered, and spoiled the order
of the banquet.  Some one who was going out having left the door open, they
had found their way in, and made themselves at home; great confusion
ensued, and every one was compelled to drink large quantities of wine. 
Aristodemus said that Eryximachus, Phaedrus, and others went away--he
himself fell asleep, and as the nights were long took a good rest:  he was
awakened towards daybreak by a crowing of cocks, and when he awoke, the
others were either asleep, or had gone away; there remained only Socrates,
Aristophanes, and Agathon, who were drinking out of a large goblet which
they passed round, and Socrates was discoursing to them.  Aristodemus was
only half awake, and he did not hear the beginning of the discourse; the
chief thing which he remembered was Socrates compelling the other two to
acknowledge that the genius of comedy was the same with that of tragedy,
and that the true artist in tragedy was an artist in comedy also.  To this
they were constrained to assent, being drowsy, and not quite following the
argument.  And first of all Aristophanes dropped off, then, when the day
was already dawning, Agathon.  Socrates, having laid them to sleep, rose to
depart; Aristodemus, as his manner was, following him.  At the Lyceum he
took a bath, and passed the day as usual.  In the evening he retired to
rest at his own home.